Alexis: My True Story of Being Seduced by an Online Predator (Louder Than Words)

Description

In six words, an instant message changed Alexis forever. After a rocky junior year of high school, Alexis Singer was lonely, stressed out, and vulnerable--the ideal target for an older man with bad intentions. When a message popped up on her computer screen one night from a message board acquaintance, she could never have known that by responding she was making a choice that would change her forever. By posing as a friend and confidant, the man gave Alexis the attention she desperately craved and weaseled his way into her life in an unimaginable way. Within weeks, Alexis was sucked into an emotionally dependent relationship, engaging in cybersex and sending him explicit photos of herself. Somewhere along the way, she lost who she was and put her dreams for the future, relationships with friends and family, and psychological well-being on the line. 'Not much about that first online conversation we had sticks out in my head except for his surprising interest in me. I probably would have forgotten about it if it weren't for that. I would have dismissed him as just another creep.' Because Truth Is More Fascinating Than Fiction www.louderthanwordsbooks.com Review: honest and brave - As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for children and adolescents, I am dismayed by some of the comments made by the other reviewers. It is exceedingly upsetting to me that there continues to be a mindset of, "She should've known better" or to somehow insinuate that an adolescent of any age would be responsible for having been targeted, groomed, broken down and then victimized for someones personal pleasure by a much older and world-savvy adult who CLEARLY knew better. Unless, of course, he is severely mentally deficient but more than likely he's just one of the many random predators that prey on the naivete of youth. I'm saddened that our society continues to place the responsibility of an assault (whether that be on mind, body or spirit)on the victim. :( I regularly recommend or lend this book to my client's and their parents. I have many client's who have found themselves in very similar situations and EVERY SINGLE TIME, they were convinced they could handle the situation and that they wouldn't let it go too far....until it got too far. I think this book is important because of the type of student Alexis represents: Intelligent, socially and politically active and seemingly mature beyond her years. Her 'regular-ness' is exactly why I use this book in therapy sessions. Basically, no one is immune to these kinds of predators. That's what makes them amazingly good at what they do and what makes them seem harmless right up until they spring their trap. I feel really passionately about this topic as more and more teenage clients are coming in for counseling following their experiences with on online predator or bully. The whole Louder Than Words series is sooo beneficial because of it's honest and brave disclosure of some of the most difficult issues young people face. Alexis is a brave young woman who has made it much easier for me to talk to my clients about online predators. For that, I am thankful. Review: A look into what it's like. - I feel incredibly awkward rating someone's personal experience. Alexis takes us on the journey of what it's like to be seduced by an online predator. I had a few mixed feelings about this book... I've been on the internet for years, and maybe it's just me, but I've never given out my real name to someone I don't know. The only time I've given out my name online was on a forum my real life friends were on, but even then, I gave out only my nickname. To me, the funny thing about the internet is, you can be whoever you want to be. And when I was younger, I wanted to be someone else. So I always was (to be completely honest right now, Marie isn't my real name, but it is half of my real name so I guess I'm not exactly lying). I wondered through out the book why she would give out her real name or real life information, but I guess (after discussing this with my husband) it's common for people to not really think about it. The signs that Alexis' predator gave were obvious ones and she even admits that she eventually knew where this would lead, but yet she still came back for more. She still craved his attention, even though he knew her requests were wrong. What he was doing was wrong. And I can't help but think, she could had easily logged off, or easily turned off the laptop. I know that her addiction to him was hard and unexplainable, but somewhere in there you have to realize that he's married and this is wrong. And just let it go. I hate how that statement made me sound like a jerk, I don't want it to sound like I'm saying "oh well it's just that easy" because I can imagine it's not. I was happy with the outcome and that she eventually did release herself from that situation. I was curious to know what happened to the predator after. Internet experiences are... crazy. I guess I was lucky enough that my first online "relationship" (which was with a guy, across the country) wasn't anything crazy, but we're now Facebook friends and we still do talk a lot from time to time. And another online "relationship" which ended up much more awkward (and I have to admit, I did form an addiction to this guy at several points, but we're around the same age) is that he completely lied about who he was. His name, his race, his age, and what he looked like. It wasn't until 6 years after I knew him (and keep in mind, we kept in touch all those years!) that I tracked down his real MySpace and confronted him about it. Which resulted in him not speaking to me for a few days because he didn't know what to say. But in the end, I'm glad to know who he really is. At least all other events in his life weren't false. At least, I'm hoping they weren't... I do recommend this book for younger teens, especially in these times where they're spending more time online and on social networking sites (I mean come on, my husband's 5 year old sister's TV shows talk about MySpace and she goes online!) which can be so much more dangerous than forums and chat rooms! I recommend it to parents with teens who spend a lot of time on the internet as well, just to be informed of a real life experience of something that can really happen.