The Sound of Gravel: A Memoir

Loved the book and finished it in two days. Quite a long list of characters so I ended up having to write notes to myself to keep everyone straight. Very very detailed descriptions all the way through, as though the author was instructed to include the smells, and the sounds into every single scene. And the smells and sounds for the next scene, then the smells and sounds for the next scene. I did love the authors humility and determination. After noticing the family photo included in the book was missing some characters, I went online to learn about each of them. The author has incredible strength and has gone through many ups and downs in life. I was horrified on some pages and found other pages very heart warming. This has been one of the better written "escaped-from-a-cult" books out there. Definitely recommend.

I am fascinated by polygamy. I have read many books about it and by people who have escaped it. This is really a terrific book on the subject.Ruth was raised in Mexico in a group that was founded by her prophet father. He died when she was a baby. Her mother remarried another man from the family named Lane. He was not a good guy, to put it simply. Her family lived pretty much in poverty. They would cross the border to collect food stamps for her family. Her mother having to pretend she did not know who the father was of her children. Their education was pretty lax. They spent a few years in some other cities , even living with her grandparents when her mother left Lane for a while. I was so happy for them during that period and then Lane shows up again. But there was also some sexual abuse by Lane on Ruth and other kids in the compound. Her mother espoused forgiveness. This I had a hard time with. I am not sure if her mother’s tears were for what happened to Ruth or her fear of not having her husband anymore. Or were they because she believed so deeply in her faith? That left me very emotional.The writing is wonderful. I honestly felt like I could taste the dust of the desert and smell the mice droppings that littered their home in Mexico. You could feel the cold in your bones as the wind blew through the thin walls.For so much sadness, Ms. Wariner seems to have come out stronger and a lot more forgiving than I might be. If you are as absorbed in polygamy as I am, you definitely must pick up this book. If you are looking for a good memoir, you definitely must pick up this book.

A heart wrenching memoir of a poverty ridden childhood in a fundamental Mormon cult. The love Ruth has for her siblings is heartwarming, as well as the love for her mother, who stays with such an evil man, who caused so much pain in her young life. The book brought tears to my eyes, I highly recommend this memoir!

I was so shocked to find this all occurred during the 70s and 80s. I think we all are blind to these "religious cults" that are nothing more than a venue for child abuse, rape, incest, and human trafficking. More needs to be done.For Ruth to grow up and go through all the things she's gone through and still care for her siblings and have a normal life is a testament to her strength and resolve. I feel like she could be one of my friends. So real and open.This book is one of my favorite reads.

This memoir broke my heart over and over... AND... filled me with awe about how resilient and strong children can be. It's the story of a family living in a polygamist colony in Mexico. I wouldn't consider it a Mormon community because that denomination has long since abandoned the principle of polygamy. The abuse of women and children revealed in this book are not uncommon in the cults that have arisen on the fringes of the Mormon church. [BTW, I myself am not Mormon.] Still, it's disturbing to see the way Bible passages are misused in this colony to justify abuse of various kinds.That said, Ruth Wariner sheds such a compassionate light on the families caught up in this environment and the devastating effects on women and children. Ruth and her siblings are at particular risk because their mother, who is widowed fairly young, marries a man who is unable to support the family, so they live in poverty and often can't provide the specialized medical care some of the children need. He uses the children as abject servants and is abusive sexually.You hear young Ruthie pleading with her mother to leave this man, yet it's not hard to imagine how bound up the mom is in this system. How could she possibly support all these children on her own?Towards the end of the narrative, an unnecessary tragedy occurs that takes the life of the mother and the youngest boy. In the midst of her own grief, 15 year-old Ruthie finds the courage and determination to rescue her siblings from further contact with her step-father. I found myself cheering for her, holding my breath, as they go through the border from Mexico to the States. One wants to shout "Free at last!"While painful to read, this is an important book. It tells the truth, from the inside of a cult-like religion, about how far afield things can go when people set themself up as prophets. Being part of a mainstream group can have a protective function. Splinter groups can more easily go to extremes.On a more personal level, we see how the children in this family develop various coping mechanisms, and how the two oldest, Ruthie and her brother Matt, join together to rescue their younger siblings. In the Epilogue, the author lets us see how therapeutic much work she's done to heal the traumas of her childhood, and how her risks and courage have benefitted all the children. Bravo Ruthie!!!