You Can Negotiate Anything: The World's Best Negotiator Tells You How To Get What You Want

A friend of mine, once walked into a tire store, and said he needed a set of new tires for his Lincoln Continental. And then told the salesman exactly what he would pay, which was well below the advertised price. To his surprise, the salesman said no, and refused to negotiate. Stunned, my friend, left the store without the tires. He thought: no tire salesman would ever turn his back on a surefire sale. And yet, that is exactly what happened. Obviously, my friend had not read "You Can Negotiate Anything". Had he done so, he would have known that he would have to spend time talking with the salesman, getting to know him, before announcing what he was willing to pay. By walking in off the street cold turkey, and asking for a sweetheart deal, rarely works. My friend likely would have gotten what he wanted, at the price he was willing to pay, had he taken the time to get to know the salesman, and for the salesman to get to know him, to see him as a fellow human in need of help. This takes time, of course, and that's the point. Investing your time, and that of the salesman's, leads to agreement. The idea is to achieve something beneficial to both parties, rather than to your's alone. That, in a nutshell, is the secret of negotiations: you must personalize the relationships first; by acting in a sincere and friendly way. Do that, and the world will see your humanity, and be more inclined to help you. Cohen's short book (255 pages) is full of real life examples, as well as a number of steps that lead to closure that is satisfying to both parties. One of Cohen's most compelling examples is that of teenage girl whose diary brought home to the world the horror of World War II. Writes Cohen: "When the Second World War was over, we learned the statistical magnitude of the atrocities committed against humankind. We could not fathom the absolutes evil perpetrated by the Nazis and their countless millions of silent and passive accomplices. For the average person, the numbers were incomprehensible. 'More than anything else, it was the writings of a teenage Jewish girl that helped people understand some of the horror that had taken place. While hiding from the Nazis, she wrote a vivid and tender account of her experience. Her words expressed her innocence, optimism, and humanity that produced an emotional impact. This was, of course "Anne Frank: Diary of a Young Girl", published in 1947 and later made into a play and a film that affected the world. "Accordingly, to maximize your impact as a negotiator--no matter whom you are dealing with--you must personalize both yourself and the situation." I originally read this book some 30 years ago while in the midst of changing the retail culture of a $4 Billion company, from one of adversarial selling tactics to one of counselor selling effectiveness. It took some time, but the company did indeed change; the results were increased sales, fewer customer complaints, and a happier and more content sales force. Bottom line: no matter your line of work, Cohen's ideas will enhance your effectiveness, and your personal happiness, and you'll probably live longer, too.

I've reread this book several times since 1980 and have gifted dozens of copies since then as well. The big takeaway? In a negotiation, put yourself in a position to say, "I care, but not that much!"

As the title indicates, this book is about negotiation, which the author defines as: "What is negotiation? It is the use of information and power to affect behavior within a "web of tension." If you think about this broad definition, you'll realize that you do, in fact, negotiate all the time both on your job and in your personal life." Herb then summarizes the three pillars of negotiation, the main premise of the book: "In every negotiation in which you're involved--in every negotiation in which I'm involved--in fact, in every negotiation in the world (from a diplomatic geopolitical negotiation to the purchase of a home)--three crucial elements are always present: 1. Information. The other side seems to know more about you and your needs than you know about them and their needs. 2. Time. The other side doesn't seem to be under the same kind of organizational pressure, tune constraints, and restrictive deadlines you feel you're under. 3. Power. The other side always seems to have more power and authority than you think you have." Below are key excerpts from the book that I found particularly insightful: 1- "Within reason, you can get whatever you want if you're aware of our options, if you test your assumptions, if you take shrewdly calculated risks based on solid information, and if you believe you have power. " 2- "You have more power sources at your fingertips than you realize! 1. The power of competition...2. The power of legitimacy. Legitimacy can be questioned and challenged. Use the power of legitimacy when it's advantageous for you to do so and challenge that power when ifs advantageous for you to do so...3. The power of risk taking You must be willing to take risks while negotiating. Risk taking involves mixing courage with common sense...4. The power of commitment...By syndicating your risk you put yourself in a position to exploit the favorable opportunity because the risk is only moderate for you...5. The power of expertise...Establish your background and credentials early in he confrontation. If you do, your statements may not even t challenged. In other words, cash in on the fact that in complicated negotiations, participants often lack specialized knowledge of certain aspects of the matter being discussed...6. The power of the knowledge of "needs" for: for: 1. The specific issues and demands, which are stated openly. 2. The real needs of the other side, which are rarely verbalized...7. The power of investment...My point is this: If you have something difficult to negotiate--an emotional issue, or a concrete item that can be stated numerically, such as price, cost, interest rate, or salary-cope with it at the end of a negotiation, after the other side has made a hefty expenditure of energy and a substantial time investment...8. The power of rewarding or punishing...If I'm aware of your perceptions and needs, and if I know you think I have power over you, I can control your behavior...9. The power of identification...You will maximize your negotiating ability if you get others to identify with you...10. The power of morality...11. The power of precedent...12. The power of persistence...Persistence is to power what carbon is to steel. By gnawing through a dike long enough even a rat can drown a nation. Most people aren't persistent enough when negotiating...13. The power of persuasive capacity...even if you present me with overwhelming evidence that I understand, should the conclusion depress me, I will remain unconvinced. Your facts and logic may be unassailable, but their acceptance will not meet my existing needs and desires...14. The power of attitude...Try to regard all encounters and situations, including your job, as a game, as the world of illusion. Pull back a little and enjoy it all." 3- "1. Since most concession behavior and settlements will occur at or even beyond the deadline, be patient. True strength often calls for the ability to sustain the tension without flight or fight. Learn to keep your automatic defense responses under control. Remain calm but keep alert for the favorable moment to act. As a general rule, patience pays. It may be that the thing 5 do, when you do not know what to do, is to do nothing. 2. In an adversary negotiation your best strategy is not to reveal your real deadline to the other side. Always keep in mind that since deadlines are the product of a negotiation they are more flexible than most people realize. the benefits and detriments that will ensue as you approach, or go beyond, the brink.3. The "other side," cool and serene as they may appear. always have a deadline. Most often, the tranquility they display outwardly masks a great deal of stress and pressure. 4. Precipitous action should be taken only when ifs guaranteed to be to your advantage. Generally speaking you cannot achieve the best outcome quickly; you can achieve it only slowly and perseveringly. Very often as you approach the deadline a shift of power will occur, presenting a creative solution or even a turnaround by the other side. The people may not change, but with the passage of tune, circumstances do." 4- "Watch the increments of concession behavior, since they send a strong message about the real limits of authority." 5- "A negotiation is more than an exchange of material obj« It is a way of acting and behaving that can develop understanding, belief, acceptance, respect, and trust. It is the manner of your approach, the tone of your voice, the attitude you convey, the methods you use, and the concern you exhibit for the other side's feelings and needs. All these things comprise the process of negotiation. Hence, the way you go about trying to obtain your objective may in and of itself meet some of the other party's needs." 6- "Let me now elaborate on how the negotiating process and reconciling opponent's needs can be used to bring about collaborative Win-Wm outcomes: I. Using the process to meet needs 2. Harmonizing or reconciling needs...In general, the reason we are at odds on an issue may stem from three areas of difference: 1. Experience 2. Information 3. Role...3. Role...Successful collaborative negotiation lies in finding out what the other side really wants and showing them a way to get it, while you get what you want." 7- "Accomplishing mutual satisfaction using the collaborative Win-Win style involves emphasis on three important activities: 1. Building trust 2. Gaining commitment 3. Managing opposition." 8- "How can you ensure that you do not make visceral opponents? My two rules are stated in terse negative terms: 1. Never forget the power of your attitude 2. Never judge the actions and motives of others." 9- "Much like a great chess master, a winning negotiator needs to know every possible strategy from the opening gambit to the end-game play. Then he can enter the event with confidence that he is prepared for every possible eventuality that might occur. Nonetheless, he strives for the best outcome that can give everyone what he wants. And he knows that compromise may be acceptable, but it's not mutually satisfying. It is a back-up, a concluding strategy that he may ultimately have to use to avoid the consequence of a deadlock." 10- "Characteristics of Phone Negotiations: 1. More misunderstanding 2. Easier to say no 3. Much quicker 4. More competitive 5. Greater risk 6. Advantage--caller...The following are some suggestions that can be effortlessly customized to help you achieve success: 1. Be the caller/ not the callee 2. Plan and prepare 3. A graceful exit 4. Discipline yourself to listen 5. Write the memorandum of agreement." 11- "To maximize your impact as a negotiator-- no matter whom you are dealing with--you must personalize both yourself and the situation...Try not to negotiate on behalf of an institution or organization, no matter how large or small. Negotiate on behalf of yourself, representing the institution."

This is a very good book on negotiating that I purchased, or had given to me about 30 years ago. It's sufficiently short in length, but long on fundamentals, that you could quite literally read (and learn) the key points in a single day. I've always liked the mix of the emphasis both on the win-win perspective of negotiating vs. the just "I've got to win" angle, as well as the use of some light-handed psychology that helps shape the expectations of your opposite negotiating party, and so that the transaction evolves to something that both parties can live with (since nobody should always get everything they want - or at least not in the real world). The book proved it's worth for me on at least 2-3 practical occasions in the past (2 car-buying and one house-buying experiences). In some regards those transactions and the negotiations, which I (and most people I suspect) usually dread - were actually kind of enjoyable. The key is to never put yourself in the position of having to close the deal (on whatever) right then. Time urgency-driven need will kill you, because you always have to be willing to walk away from a deal, and have the attitude that this is not the last car or the last house on the face of the planet. This isn't always easy when you're in partnership with a desparately pleading spouse who isn't helping much with statements of "this house is perfect", "we've got to have this house", and "we can't let this one get away no matter what" - right in front of the seller, the seller's real estate agent and your real estate agent. Because at that point you should pretty much realize you've surrendered virtually any negotiating leverage you might have had. I've got my employees at work now reading this book, because I find that for some of our employees negotiating appears to have become a totally lost art. When they're all fully "read-in" on the book, I plan on trying to develop a negotiating "primer" for our organization's recruiters - because I believe their current understanding of negotiating with job candidates on the issue of salary, is limited to: would you like a little more or a lot more?!?! Whether purchased New or Used, this book is a timeless winner, with practical value for everyone - buy it.

Herb Cohen is a guy that you like, he's very personable and this shows in his book, in fact you can see much of his negotiation tools being used by him to sell his own strategies to you in the book :), he makes the book very personable and human. There's definetly some good advice and strategies we can get from his life and his experiences. But i felt it is mostly him ranting about his own adventures or encounters. With his unique personality his outlook has proven successful, but i don't know how applicable these tools would be to everyone, meaning you may be able to save a few bucks but you won't become a millionare from this book. It does explain a general mindset to approach all negotiations which im sure will make me a more successful negotiator, i just wish he was more clear in how to apply it in my life instead of hearing all his past stories which i cant relate to.

This book change my entire life.

Truly, you'd be surprised. You really can negotiate anything. Sometimes it's a little awkward but this wonderful book shows you how you can bring that to your advantage in any negotiating situation. I buy a copy of this wonderful book for any new member of my team.

I did lots of highlighting in this book. Great tidbits of insights and wisdom throughout. It was a little slow at times, the language and concepts a bit antiquated, but the principles are still relevant.

This book worked for me as an emotial intelligence course. Common sense really but so many times forgotten. Nowadays the investment of our time in others is so reduced that the level of tension in human relationships has never been so high. This book helps me to remember how important is the human touch for your own inner satisfaction and happiness.

A1

この本に出会ったのは、あのアメリカメディア会の帝王ラリー・キングの‘How to talk to anyone, anytime,anywhere’の中でラリーのブルックリン少年時代の悪がき仲間として著者のコーエン氏が紹介されていたからでした。コーエンは多くのPrivate companyや政府外交の交渉役として長年その辣腕を振るってきましたが、少年時代からその才能は人並みはずれたものだったようです。 ラリーの本の中のエピソードで、ラリーとコーエンはお小遣いほしさに、引っ越した友達を死んだことにして友人たちからお葬式の花代を巻き上げたそうです。学校もそれを信じてしまい、その友人の名を冠したScholorship Award を作ってしまいます。そしてこの出来事は、ひょいと死んだはずの友人が学校に現れてばれてしまい、担任の先生から放校を言い渡されます。しかし、コーエン氏が担任に「もし僕らが放校になったら、教育委員会の諮問委員会で、確認の電話のひとつもせずに１３歳の少年の話を鵜呑みにした先生の立場があやういのでは？」と交渉し、無罪放免でこの状況を切り抜けたそうです。 この本にも、交渉のロジックだけでなく、著者のエピソードとその状況で繰り出す「なるほど」とうなってしまうようなテクニックが多く記されています。また著者いわく、「交渉できないものはない、それを妨げているのは常識だ」と述べ、ディスカウントストアでも交渉する著者の姿はほほえましくもあります。また、冷戦時代のソビエトとの外交官との交渉のエピソードも面白く読むことが出来ました。 いろいろな交渉術がかかれていますが、それらの黄金率は「相手の欲求を読み、お互いが満足し勝者になる態度で交渉に臨め」ということのようです。

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