For Men Only, Revised and Updated Edition: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women

I recommend this book to just about every person I know. The research that this book uses is well-done, and it conveys the information efficiently and in a way that is easy to digest. I am a slow reader, and even I was able to finish the book in no more than about ten hours. The book provides insights on the ways that women think that are both different and counterintuitive to men. When I mention the findings of this book to other men, they are either surprised or they tell me that they agree with me. The ones who agree with me are either married for a while or have been in a long-term relationship for a while. I love this book so much because it conveys the differences in the ways that women think that a man would otherwise not even consider unless he was prompted to believe that a woman would see the same situation differently. In other words, a man might look at a situation or hear something that a woman says, and it would not even occur to him that a woman would think of the situation differently because his way of viewing the situation seems so obvious to him. And similarly, the woman does not think to indicate to him that she views the situation differently because it does not even occur to her that the man could view it in a way that is different from hers. As a result, well-meaning men and women often talk past each other in these circumstances. This book, and its companion book For Women Only, do in several hours what otherwise takes years; it helps men and women to understand how they think differently so that they can communicate well. I can say from personal experience that this book has profoundly improved my ability to communicate with and even understand women. This book will not solve all of your relationship or marriage woes, but it will provide an excellent foundation on which you can understand the women in your life, what they mean when they say or do certain things, and clarify some of their behaviors that are often confusing to us men. Having said that, be warned that this book makes claims about what women say that they want. In that specific regard, the book is accurate; it accurately conveys what women say that they want. However, be warned that, in some circumstances, they might not do what you want just because you give them what they say they want, or they might even be resistant to receiving the thing that they say that they wanted. This problem, however, is obviously not a problem with the book, but rather a problem of self-awareness, and unfortunately, men are no more immune from this problem than women, so it is not a unique problem. Even so, this book is truly excellent. It should be required reading for anyone in premarital counseling. I can almost guarantee that this book will change your life. And it's a short and easy read as well; it is not dense or difficult to understand at all. So, of course, I highly recommend it. Get copies for your friend too, while you're at it.

This is one of my favorite relationship books and I recommend it to every couple. I am the wife and read this to see if this was applicable to me, and I will say that I learned more about myself than I thought I would. I realized what I was feeling and finally how to convey my feelings thanks to this book. I gave it to my husband to read, telling him if he really wanted to understand me, this book explains it. Since he has read it, he really has been applying it and we have greatly improved our communication. Many a dumb argument has been extinguished at the start and I feel the care. In turn, I had purchased and read the Only for Women book, and with the knowledge of both books in my arsenal, I am able to convey my feelings better and understand why I react to some things, myself. I also really appreciate how this book offers statistics and common answers among common people in order to find out why the majority of people feel and react the way they do, rather than a therapist offering their opinions. I don't think I've gotten such accurate answers before. I also found this book to be funny and I genuinely enjoyed reading it. This one more so than Only for Women. Maybe I have more of a man's brain lol I needed the humor and encouragement within this book from the author to help me keep reading. (Only for Women is a little more serious and emotional.) Even if it isn't 100 percent applicable to you and your relationship, it is still a great read with valuable tools that could even help with any relationship between men and women. Understanding the base of a man's mind and the possible likely reasons behind his actions is such a good feeling. I apply it to my father and brothers, even, since they too, are men.

INTRO: Following the popularity of "Foe Women Only", the Feldhahn team decided to answer the demand (of women ... and men) for a men's version book. Through extensive field research Jeff Feldhahn, came up with 6 areas that are essential for any married couple, areas that are not only important but also critical/imperative to a wife's happiness: "Reassurance," "Emotions," "Security," "Listening," Sex, Beauty. AUTHORS: Authors write from a Christian perspective (meaning, at seldom places they quote the Bible or biblical principles for supporting the values espoused herein). Tha authors also write in a very easy and non-judgemental and common-sense language. In the sex chapter, the authors recommend a couple of books, and also throught the whole book, there are several mentions and reference to read "Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs" by Emerson Eggerichs. CONTENT: I will just quote some part to give you an idea/flavor/gist of the subject material: ¤ CH.2 "Reassurances" or "The Deal is Never Closed" - "Even if you relationship is great, your mate likely has a fundamental insecurity about your love - and when that insecurity is triggered, she may respond in ways that confuse or dismay you until she feels reassured that you love her." Hidden triggers (of her insecurity): conflict, man's withdrawal, silence, her "emotional bank account" is depleted, man is absent a lot, unresolved relationship issues. Practical Guide to turning off the red warning light: 1.Regular reassurance - 5 ways, 2.Persistent Pursuit. ¤ CH.3 "Emotions" or "Windows ... Open!" - "Women deal with multiple thoughts and emotions from their past and present all the time, at the same time - and these can't be easily dismissed." Sequential Strategies for Sequential Minds: 1.Rethink your assumptions about how she thinks. 2.Realize you may not 'be' the issue, even though you're affected by the issue. 3.Be her hero and help her clear those distracting or painful windows so they don't keep coming back. ¤ CH.4 "Security" or "Your Real Job is Closer To Home" - "Your woman needs emotional security and closeness with you so much that she will endure financial insecurity to get it." Money talks but 'emotional security' sings. What Security Means to Her: 1.See feels secure when you two feel close. So what builds closeness ? 2.She feels secure when you make time together a priority, 3.She feels secure when you demonstrate your commitment, 4.She feels secure when you are active in parenting and the life of the home, 5.She feels secure when you do make an effort to provide. ¤ CH.5 "Listening" or "Listening IS the solution" - When she is sharing an emotional problem, her feelings and her desire to be heard are much more important than the problem itself. She doesn't want you to fix it. How To Listen (think baseball) 1st base: Give her your full physical attention, 2nd base: Give her your full mental attention, 3rd base: Listen for the right thing - how she feels about the problem, home plate: acknowledge and affirm her feelings about the problem. ¤ CH.6 Sex or With Sex, Her "No" Doesn't Mean You - The frequency ga is usually NOT because a wife doesn't desire her husband. ¤ CH.7 Beauty or The Girl In The Mirror - "Inside your smart, secure wife lives a little girl who deeply needs to know that you find her beautiful - and that you only have eyes for her." The ugly truth about female beauty in our world. The hammer drops: looking elsewhere. CONCLUSION: Ultimatelly this book (as its partner "For Women Only") is about 2 things: a) How much men didn't know that they didn't know (about women) b) How much the relationship has changed once men understood their woman's innner life - and started doing things differently.

"It's a huge shocker to talk to hundreds of women and find that while financial security is nice, it isn't nearly as important to them as feeling emotionally secure - feeling close and confident that you will be there for her no matter what." ~ pg. 17 If you are reading this book and your wife is reading "for women only," you may be in for a lovely time if you talk about the issues. By reading the "for women" and "for men" books, my husband and I finally sorted out the basis of our differences. These books can at first cause more problems than they solve because as problems surface and you put names to the issues, things can get worse. A few days later, you may find your relationship on a better path and renewal setting in. The ideas almost require you to put pride aside and set to work on the real issues facing every relationship. The chapters include: Rethinking Random - Great information on how women want to feel emotionally secure. I could not agree more. If you don't feel loved, it is difficult to be motivated to respond. Respond and Respect seems to go hand in hand when loved. The Deal is Never Closed - "Buried inside most women- even those in great relationships-is a latent insecurity about whether their man really loves them." Windows...Open! - How women multitask and why they may not be able to let go of a grudge. Shows how to work through problems. Your Real Job Is Closer to Home - Why women said they wouldn't mind their husband making less money if he could spend more time at home. Listening Is the Solution - Why women sometimes just need to talk it out...excellent advice. Some of the best I've read yet. With Sex, Her "No" Doesn't mean You - Romance and what you say might be the key here. The Girl in the Mirror - Are you really the mirror reflecting back what she wants to hear? As a husband, Jeff Feldhahn has some great wisdom to share. You could save your marriage or relationship by following the ideas in "for men only." From personal experience, it might be a little dangerous to read each other's books. Only do so if very brave and ready for conflict resolution. ~The Rebecca Review

Being a man, I am always willing to learn more about female psychology. The problem with the books about this topic is: they are few (women are more interested in reading books about male psychology than the other way around) and they contradict each other. This book adds to the confusion giving some advice which flies in the face of other books I have read. This is a book for committed relationships. And it has a Christian orientation. I don't have any problem with that. Although I am not a Christian, I am religious and Christian references don't bother me. If you happen to be offended by references about God and the Gospels, please stay away from this book. THE GOOD: Firstly, the book is very useful in explaining the reason about some women's behaviors which challenge men's understanding. The book is filled with truths: from the very obvious ones ("Women have lower sex drives than men in average", "Women like to solve problems by talking about them") to the not-so-obvious ones ("Women can't disconnect from a problem as easily as men do"). Secondly, the book gives some useful advice to work with the problems explained. Thirdly, the book is well written, easily read and the authors have included a quick start guide which is useful and convenient to review the main points. Fourthly, the book relies on a statistical survey. This fact distinguishes from other books which are based on anechdotal evidence or misinterpretations of scientific studies. Fifthly, this book treats both sexes with respect and this is not usual in this kind of studies (see, for example, my review about "the female brain") So why do I give it only four stars? Because I think the book has some flaws. THE NOT-SO-GOOD: 1) The authors have selected some six findings about the inner lives of women and they have submitted these findings to a survey. Good enough but I wonder if these findings are the most important or relevant. Is it not possible to find more than six findings about female psychology? Why these ones and not other ones? 2) In my humble opinion, the authors are too confident about the survey. They claim a statement and then they give the survey as the definitive proof. But I am wary about surveys who ask people about their feelings and thought processes. For these "introspection" surveys to be accurate, the following statements should be true: a) People know what they want. b) People say what they think. Obviously, when people are asked about their most intimate details of their lives, you can't be sure of anyone of these statement. About a), people are not always rational (they have a rational brain and an emotional brain). When asked about the motives of actions motivated by irrational feelings, they are prone to rationalize their actions. For example, women (like men) may be rational about their feelings or they may not. I could cite my sister, who every time she has a PMS is compelled to fight with anybody who interacts with her. If she is asked about the motives of these fights, she rationalizes by blaming the other person. Another example can be found in item 3) below. About b), people are prone to hide a thought if this is not approved socially. For example, in page 78 we read, "Shaunt turned to the women in the audience and asked: 'If you had to choose, would you rather endure financial struggles or a lack of closeness in your relationship?'. Nearly every female hand went up for the 'I'd rather endure financial struggles'". Based on this and a similar result in the survey, the authors conclude that emotional security is more important than financial security. Obviously, the authors have not considered that, with this question, they were asking "Do you value more money or love?" or, in other words, "Are you materialistic?" in disguise. What human being would answer affirmatively to this question IN FRONT OF AN AUDIENCE? Even more, a thing is to say "I would endure financial struggles" and other different is to really endure them. Everybody can say "I would endure financial struggles for love" but the proof of truth comes when you are having financial problems, your children are suffering and you see no future. Everybody can pretend to be a selfless individual and to behave with no interest and only based on the highest principles. But, as they say in my country, "When hunger enters through the door, love leaves through the window". A better experiment would have been trying to survey a statistically significant group of men to determine their financial status, their emotional openness and their married state. Then a really simple statistical analysis could have been done to determine if financially secure men are more likely to be married than emotionally open men (these would be only two regressions). This would have been a survey about facts and not about words (which are dozen-a-dime). 3) The last problem I find with this book is that it recommends men to be always catering to women's feelings. Even if the woman is pushing away the husband, he must be telling her "I love you". The authors make a good job explaining why this works and I think it works IN THE SHORT TERM. But, ultimately, women don't want to be with a pushover, with a spineless man. They lose respect if you are easily manipulated by their mood swings. If you do everything that is adviced in this book you will improve your marriage in the short term. But I think it would be awful in the long term. Your wife would lose respect for you, would start to be "bored" and you know all these good men and husband who are being divorced by their wives because they are bored. I don't have the answers for that but I think it is better to draw some fair principles at the beginning of the relatioship and not to compromise about these principles because a woman happens to be in a bad mood. When the crisis is over, a woman can understand and admire a man who has done what he thinks it is fair instead of placating his wife by submitting to her mood. THE SUMMARY: So take the advice in this book with a grain of salt. In my opinion, this is a good book but not the Bible about female psychology. In summary, a good book. In a world filled with books about female psychology, it would receive three stars. But, being the sources of information about this topic so scarce, it is a must-read for those of us who really want to understand women and make them happy.

I recently read For Men Only, Revised and Updated Edition, even though it’s geared specifically for men. I took the time to highlight everything that resonated with me before passing it on to my husband. It’s a fantastic book, but it really only works its magic if you dive in and read it yourself. The book offers valuable insights and practical advice, and highlighting key points for myself helped me better understand the concepts and communicate them to my husband. It’s clear that the real value comes from engaging with the material firsthand. If you’re planning to gift this book or use it as a couple, make sure you read it too. It’s an eye-opener and offers useful perspectives that can benefit both partners in a relationship. Highly recommended for its practical wisdom and the unique approach to fostering understanding between partners!

I am a woman and I read this to add extra notes for my husband. And to be honest the book is pretty spot on for me and I didn’t have to add a lot of notes. To be honest just reading this book myself has helped me to understand my husband a bit better and with my husband reading it this has helped our marriage a lot. I mean a lot. We went from having no clue how to communicate with each other after 23 years and raising two kids to actually sitting down and having productive conversations. I am as honestly at my wits end. I wasn’t willing to give up but our marriage consisted of my husband working all the time and me nagging him. It felt like a roommate arrangement rather than a marriage. This brought us to the table together to have honest conversations and to actually have a marriage that’s so nice for both of us. Marriage is always a work in progress and I am so thankful for both of the books as they literally saved my sanity and my marriage. My husband understands me better and just understands what I need better. I have even recommended it to our son who is married. No matter what stage of you marriage your in this book and for woman only will benefit the marriage so much.

For anyone. Doesn't matter how great your relationship is, or how bad. This is a must read. It provides a deep understanding into the way men and women's minds work. I recommend you get this book as well as For Women Only. First thing, men read For Women Only. Highlight the things that are most important to you, and notes if needed. As these books are generally dead on, not everyone is the same. Some things will hold high importance, will others not so much. Women read For Men Only, and do the same. The. Swap books. And get to know your partner. And set aside some time to talk about it if you need more context from each other.

It really helped me understand what my wife has been thru which in turn helped me with my frustration as I now have a total different perspective.

I brought this book as a half-joke for a man who was always wondering why the different genders took completely different approaches to things and why women are 'confusing'. It's light hearted, easily accessible and carries some thought provoking ideas, even just dipping in and out the pages was interesting. It contains a nice mixture of bullet points, tables, quotes and explanations, as well as a quick start guide at the back. The book itself is written by a man, who has had several deep and meaningful conversations with his wife and has gone down the route of unlocking and then explaining how women think. Even women who read the book were surprised when seeing it from a different perspective as the author manages to sum everything up well. For example, he explains the thought processes of men and women by describing them as computers and goes on to describe the different aspects of that, such as men having a screensaver up sometimes, and women having an endless amount of windows, some of which pop up randomly. A fantastic read, and succeeds where many books fail. It's clear, accessible, sensible and once you've read it, everything fits together and what used to be down-right confusing, becomes common sense, Huzzah!

I don't know who advised or offered you to read this book, but if you decided by yourself to read it then you won't be that surprised or learn a lot of things. Most of the little stories' lessons told are super obvious (at least to me). The second part of the book was a lot more interesting. My wife is my best friend and I soon realized a lot of things that written here. If you happen to have effective communication in your couple than a lot of what's written here won't surprise you. For Women Only, is I think more interesting for women than this book for men.. because we (men) are less and less understood by women. My wife really realized a lot by reading FWO, it wasn't such a paradigm shift for me unfortunately.

I truly recommend this book, not even to married people but every human being. Recently it looks like both gender are in war, balming each other of their problems, however we lack in knowledge about hoe other people feels or thinks

Much of the material is or can be learned eventually over time (often the hard way!), but why not get a real jumpstart and skip a lot of unnecessary misunderstandings? 100% guarantee that this book will save hours of difficult communications and help increase mutual respect and admiration for one another. Thank you to everyone who made it possible!