I Was Here

Gayle Forman knows exactly how to wring my heart until it is almost empty and dry, before helping it to beat once more and let me have a good cry so that I can carry on reading. I Was Here is a raw, tough story dealing with a very difficult subject in a strong and strangely beautiful way. Cody had a lot of trouble dealing with her best friend’s suicide, which is something I found very realistic. Having to deal with all the questions about why, how, the guilt and if she could have done anything differently that might have helped Meg not take that final, fatal step is definitely not easy. I Was Here shows the readers parts of Cody’s journey to accept Meg’s death, to get back to her own life and stop living in limbo. I think I Was Here is an important story to tell, because even if it is fiction, there are so many teens who suffer without really showing it, and the people closest to them may not realize how hard things were for them until it is too late to help. Most of the story here is about the aftermath, though, and I felt so bad for Cody, both because she had lost her best friend very suddenly, and because it was hard for her to continue to see Meg’s parents – even while at the same time it was good for her to see them. And it also points out how important it is to accept treatment when diagnosed with depression or being bi-polar. Cody’s journey is both literal and metaphorical, in that she first goes to Seattle to pack up Meg’s room, and there she finds out quite a few things about her friend she hadn’t known about before. The guilt Cody feels felt very real to me as well, because she had cut off some contact with Meg when they couldn’t go to the same college as they had planned. Cody was jealous and afraid of being left behind, which is understandable, and in many cases a very natural reaction, too. As little by little Cody managed to unravel some of the hidden aspects of the last few months of Meg’s life, I was both engrossed in I Was Here, and so sad I almost wanted to put the book down. Thankfully, there is hope as well in this story. Cody found several new friends, more self confidence and a precise goal to work towards. Written in past tense first person point of view from Cody’s perspective, I felt like I was right beside her, feeling all her turmoil and sadness, as well as the anger and the hope. If you are ready for a tough read, run pick up I Was Here, it really was worth all the tears.

It’s no secret that I’m a HUGE Gayle Forman fan so needless to say, I WAS HERE was one of my most anticipated reads of 2015 that I hope to read way before 2015. Firstly, it was Gayle Forman so I knew I WAS HERE would not only bring a new level of intensity and maturity — since I’ve seen her writing grow each book — but also an onslaught of raw emotion that I fell head over heels for in books like IF I STAY and JUST ONE DAY. I devoured I WAS HERE in a single day. Granted, I was home sick with a cold, but in a way, I was kind of thankful for it because this was a book I didn’t want to put down. My first reaction after finishing was that I WAS HERE definitely had a different feel than Gayle Forman’s previous books… But looking back, JUST ONE DAY and JUST ONE YEAR were also very different from IF I STAY/WHERE SHE WENT. I do have moments where reading a new book from a dearly cherished author is hard. Yes, IF I STAY and JUST ONE DAY (and their respective companions) both dealt with loss and relatives being taken from the main characters when they were far too young… but I WAS HERE deals with not only loss of life but someone you thought you knew inside and out choosing to leave this world and everyone else in it behind. (Of course those with experience dealing with depression know that it’s much more complicated than a “choice”, but since this is a review, I’m not going to get into that whole discussion!) I WAS HERE felt quite a bit different than Gayle’s previous books in two noticeable ways for me. The first was that there was much more of a plot driven by the need to find an answer to a mystery. Obviously any plot has to have some sort of need for a resolution otherwise the book seems to have no point… but with Gayle’s previous books, it was much more about the characters finding an answer about themselves versus an outside motive, which brings me to the second big difference for me: the involvement of a third major character. Although Meg has already taken her life at the start of the book, she’s the driving force behind the whole novel and everything that Cody does. Cody and male lead Ben would never meet without the connection through Meg and it creates a sort of triangle (no, not a love triangle, although things do tend to get a little sticky with Ben and Meg being close at one point) or circle of events that tend to loop back around from person to person. IF I STAY and JUST ONE DAY certainly had other characters that played their own roles, but the focus was very much on a decision and self-discovery that the main character has to make and their romantic connection to another character. With a third element in the story, for some reason it just held and entirely different feel for me. It may sound like this is bad thing but it’s definitely not. I think it’s hard to read an author’s work when you sort of sense a “pattern” and start to get comfortable with what to expect. It was a bit different for me to read I WAS HERE with this new “pattern”, new subject matter, and a brand-new feel but that also taught me not to get comfortable with what I read. My favorite authors will always be writing something new, constantly improving themselves and their writing, and bringing fresh topics to their readers and I’m so impressed with how no matter what Gayle Forman has written so far, I’ve fallen in love with each book she’s penned in very different ways. I love how I can read a book by one of my favorite authors and get something a little different each time, knowing that it keeps her growing as a writer and me growing as a reader. I’m getting a bit off-topic here, but from what I’ve heard when seeing Gayle speak at events, I feel like this is definitely something that’s important to her so I feel a small sense of pride when I notice something like that. I got a bit technical with the review here, but don’t worry — there are also some major swoons! Yes, there is a bit of romance and it’s incredibly interesting to see how it unfolds. Cody meets Ben under some strange and tense circumstances (which makes sense considering she’s essentially looking further into her friend’s suicide and Ben was one of the people she talked to the most) so there’s quite the tension wondering what will happen between the two — and if anything COULD ever happen between the two — due to Ben’s previous interactions with Meg. Personally? I loved how everything was handled. I don’t want to say TOO much about it because it’s best for the reader to discover that for themselves, but I ended up explaining the situation to someone else and I really think it all unfolded in the best way possible. Naturally in a Gayle Forman book, there is no shortage of gut-punching feels. The loss of Meg is just devastating to everyone she was connected to. I’ve never experienced a loss like that and I can’t even imagine what people have gone through that have felt like, but reading books that deal with topics such as death and suicide, I really tend to latch on to the families and friends of these characters pretty hard and I tend to sort of lose myself in the book. It’s definitely a heavy-hitting book as far as emotional roller coasters go but Gayle Forman knows exactly where to lead you on that journey. It’s really interesting to see different character’s reactions and I think she did a great job of showing a wide range of handling grief. One might thing it manifests only in sadness but some characters — especially Cody — experience anything from confusion to anger to depression to motivation. As always, I just really love how real every character felt and Gayle Forman always does an amazing job at bringing characters, setting, and emotions to life in her books. When I sat down to write this review, I did NOT plan to write seven paragraphs. In fact, I had no idea what I was possibly going to say. I worried that it would sound like I hated the book since it was so hard for me to rate. I feel like usually “hard ratings” are due to overwhelming emotions for people — which yes, it was for me — but also that “different feeling” for me made it hard for me to assess my true feelings for the book. Obviously once I started writing about it, it was obvious how much this book really moved me and, well, I already knew it was a 4.5 to 5 star book for me, but being able to talk about it only convinced me more. Sometimes reviews just tend to take you on a journey you didn’t expect and my review for I WAS HERE certainly did that for me. Personally, I can’t wait to see what this book helps other people discover! I’m really looking forward to discussing this one with people. (Now that I’ve found the words, I know you can too!)

An astounding and tragically captivating book. I could not put it down, reading it all in one evening. All of Gayle Forman's books are written in such a way that they touch your emotions and draw you into the story so deeply you don't want to stop reading, you must know how the story ends, as you hope for the best but fear the reality. This book deals with romantic yet tragic themes as do most of her books that I have read. Her gift of writing is powerful and draws you in and touches your heart in the deepest part. This book, especially, is heart rending as it deals with the suicide of a close friend. This is something I know from personal experience that you never walk away from. It haunts you and the smallest memory or reminder causes your soul to awake again to grief no matter how many years have gone by. I pray that no one reading this ever experiences what it feels like to lose someone in this fashion. I pray that if you know anyone who mentions that they are thinking of suicide as a possible solution that you will stand by them and do whatever you can and tell whoever you must in order to get them help. We all go through hard times but suicide is not the way. It is the worst thing I know. Chose life, no matter how bad you feel. Pray to God, He will help you whether you believe in Him or not. I hope you read this book with contemplation and understanding.

I tend to not read Contemporary YA. I'm not sure why, because when I do, I devour it. Maybe that's why I don't? Maybe because I think I read them to quickly. Doesn't matter. I was pretty excited for "I Was Here" after I adored her If I Stay Duology (I still haven't watched the movie, btw) last year, I knew I would pre-order anything by her in the future--and I did just that. I received this book in the mail the day after it was released, and I started it a few days later because I was finishing up another book. I knew it was going to be sad--I mean, even the synopsis is kind of sad. I mean, we open at a teen's (I think she's a teen, all we know is she is under 21 maybe?) explanation of attending her best friend's funeral and various prayer services. So that should be sad, right? But I didn't feel sadness. I didn't feel sympathy for the main character--and it's not like I was just removed from the action of the entire book, I felt for Meg's parents, and Meg's little brother (his portions were probably the most emotionally connected I felt throughout the entire book). But I just didn't care about Cody. Most of the time I found her to be unnecessarily keeping secrets and then whining because no one else knows what's going on. The introduction of Ben McAllister, and his connection with Meg, and that Cody seeks him out, was a great point and a realistic aspect of the story. I feel like if my best friend killed herself, I would absolutely seek out the last person that she contacted. So, I really liked this plot point, and I liked Ben a lot as a character. He was probably the most realistic responses to the obsession that Cody develops with finding out more details of Meg's suicide. Overall, I gave this book 3/5 STARS--I don't know what was missing exactly, just that I wasn't blown away. It didn't even give me the emotional rawness, and good cry that Forman's other books have.

Gayle Forman, high priestess of FEELS! Honestly, I don’t know how she does it! She has such a skill for peeling back the layers and getting to the heart of the matter, and for opening up her characters to the reader in a way not many authors can achieve. I’m always left with such a deep sense of understanding after reading a Gayle Forman novel, even when the subject matter is completely foreign to me. I mean, I’ve never been on life support, or traipsed around Paris (or the world) trying to figure out what love truly is, and I haven’t dealt with the suicide of someone I hold close only to be left trying to pick up the pieces…but I can say that because of Gayle Forman’s books letting me in to the soul of her characters, I am infinitely changed. I Was Here is Gayle Forman’s fifth novel and a fresh departure from her last two sets of duologies, If I Stay and Where She Went, as well as Just One Day and Just One Year. I adored all of these books for their storytelling and honest emotions. There’s nothing I love more than reading a book that makes me feel as though I have been granted a special, inclusive look into the characters life. I Was Here does all of this and more! This book is a non-stop roller coaster of feels and my heart just ached for Cody the entire time as I watched her struggle through her emotions of trying to piece together the devastating clues. We meet Cody when she is just coming off the suicide of her best friend. She’s lost, alone and struggling to make sense of what happened. Thanks to a cryptic note and a desire to understand what brought her friend to such a dark place, Cody embarks on an emotional journey as a way to piece together the clues and figure out what happened. With each new clue, she learns that there was SO much more to her friend than she ever knew. Experiencing Cody’s discoveries through her eyes is so emotional and overwhelming as a reader. I appreciated how well Forman unravelled the mystery surrounding Meg’s death and how she portrayed Cody’s grief and confusion. It all came off as authentic and I was just as invested in finding out the truth as the characters of this book were. Forman knows how to give us relationships that are fulfilling and add so much to her stories. Cody’s somewhat strained and confusing relationship with Ben only adds to the layers of this story and by the end you’re cheering for them both to get their happy ending. Ben is the perfect foil to Cody’s character and brings to light a whole other side to her personality. They both have their reasons for trying to put the pieces of their lives back together, and watching them try to accomplish this as a pair is something so moving and beautiful. I Was Here is an emotional and moving story of one young woman’s journey through grief, understanding and ultimately, her journey of self-discovery. If you’re a fan of Forman’s previous novels then there is no doubt in my mind that you’ll love this one as well. It hits all the same notes but in a very different, and very satisfying way.

I have read If I Stay and liked it very much. So I read its sequel. I forget the name. But it was also very compelling. I thought this book might also be related. It sort of is. It deals with death and decisions around it. Suicide is hard. If you have a friend or family member who dies by suicide, you always wonder: Why? Why didn't I know they were hurting? What could I have done to prevent this? Am I to blame? This book clarifies answers to some of those questions. It puts you in the place of friend who has suffered loss to suicide and is very well researched. I think it provides a kind of solace and comfort.

*Review posted on Mundie Moms on 3/6/2015* On January 27th my kindle had barely registered that it was 9:02 PST when I realized that I Was Here had already downloaded. I might have muttered something about not getting any sleep at all and I dove right into an unexpected surprise. Why unexpected? Because I had no idea that this story was going to be a tricky mystery with a bit of a thriller feeling to it. I was expecting the emotional turns. This is something that Gayle is simply masterful in writing. But, I wasn't expecting that feeling in the pit of my stomach, that foreboding, that chills-down-my-spine feeling that you get when reading a really well done mystery plot. Cody and Meg are the tightest of friends, but even BFFs have secrets. When Meg commits suicide, Cody begins to unravel her best friend's footsteps that led to that final decision. Cody is a complex character, full of insecurities and carrying a lot of emotional baggage. So basically, a character that I understood from the very first page. I also understood that devastating feeling of thinking you know someone and discovering that you really didn't know everything about them. As Cody retraces her friends first term in college, she meets the new people in Meg's life and she discovers a different Meg from the one she knew. Oh you guys, the story will hook you and hook you hard for hours. There were things I expected and things I didn't. Characters I loved and ones that were vile. But in the end, I understood their motivation and yes, the mystery of why Meg committed suicide was crystal clear. In true Gayle fashion, there is that feeling of hope at the end. And in those sad, pivotal moments in our own lives, that feeling of hope is the one we all cling to. If you enjoy a mystery with depth and characters who are beautifully written, pick up I Was Here. It's just the kind of story to keep you reading through yet another snow storm or even the many hours spent waiting for appointments and school bells. Another Gayle story that goes on my Sharing It with My Kids shelf.

I’ve been hearing about Gayle Forman for quite a while now, but this is just the first time I’m reading her work. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to start breaking into a Gayle Forman book on suicide, but I found myself on an emotional ride, and that counts as a good thing when I get emotionally invested in a book. As mentioned, I Was Here deals with a very sensitive topic on teenage suicide. Cody copes with the loss of her best friend Meg, her hang-ups with her mother and dealing with Meg’s family after the tragic incident. Cody decides to do the family a favor by heading to Tacoma to pack up Meg’s belongings. It seems like an innocent errand at first, until she discovered things about Meg she never even knew of. When Cody learns there’s more to Meg’s death than what she already knew, she embarks on an investigation that will lead her to surprising revelations while discovering something about herself in the process. It took me a while to get into the story—it felt like I landed in the middle of something busy…and rightfully so as the characters dealt with the aftermath of Meg’s death (as narrated by Cody). I guess it was partly because Cody rubbed off as an angsty person and it was difficult to empathize with her due to that. But when I got over the initial disconnect, I was reading one page after the other. When Cody stumbled on a mystery that had something to do with the circumstances of Meg’s death, I was on a roll. I was just as intrigued as Cody and I wanted to find out what happened asap. At one point when she was about to confront Meg’s suicide “mentor”, I couldn’t put the book down. It felt like I was on a journey with her to uncover the truth. As Cody embarked on this investigation of sorts, Forman introduced readers to other characters like Meg’s roommates (Harry Kang rocks!) and Ben McAllister, the boy who broke Meg’s heart. I enjoyed reading about the group, especially when Cody started to warm up to them. The quirky group was a good balance to Cody’s angst and it was pleasant to read about them and how it made an impact on Cody’s behavior and likability as a character. My only gripe about this book was the romance subplot that felt like it was an afterthought. Ben McAllister was the typical rocker with a bad reputation and hooking up with Cody (and for Cody to eventually allow it to happen) left a sour taste in the mouth. The story would have stood on its merits without the romance. Reading about two kids hooking up in the middle of a road trip for unfathomable reasons was just a WTF moment. Nevertheless, the ending eventually made me connect with Cody and I found myself admiring the strength and character of this apprehensive character. The book was more about her journey in dealing with her best friend’s death, how she somehow accepted certain aspects of her parents, and the peace of mind she deserved after everything she went through. Kudos to Gayle Forman for coming up with such a relevant story that tugs at the heart as well as acknowledges the struggles of individuals going through similar challenges. Review posted on WillReadforFeels.com

Ame este libro tiene un gran desenlace y llegó en tiempo y forma establecidos, el precio me encantó. Muy bueno.

overall, i didn't like the book. the story is very monotonous and the end is frustrating. wouldn't read it again, for sure.

Very raw feelings and emotions. With such a twist of emotions along the way. Have read this 3 times over.

Tutto a posto, arrivato subito

came as described, clean and in good condition. good book i think havent read it yet but oh well so yeah