When You're The One Who Cheats: Ten Things You Need To Know

This book is a must read for anyone who has cheated, is thinking of cheating, or has been cheated on. I think that covers about everybody. Tammy Nelson has the fresh, clear voice of your best friend with the insight and intuition of your most trusted therapist. She demystifies affairs, using anecdotes from a broad spectrum of folks along the sexual orientation spectrum. There is no finger wagging, just cut-to-the-chase assessments. The book is also as entertaining as insightful, with the author adding her own honest reflections into the mix. She does not place herself above cheaters, but shows deep empathy, sharing her own vulnerabilities. I found myself reflecting deeply after reading this book, checking my integrity, recognizing my flaws, and vowing to do better. Highly recommended to everyone in any kind of relationship.

I discovered concepts and relationships in which I was unaware of couples actually agreeing to.Definitely a book worth looking into!

This book is well written, well researched and a must read for individuals, partnered folk and the therapist that work with them. Very easy enjoyable book to read! Dr. Nelson gives sound unbiased insights into how to to navigate a complexity of infidelity.I’ll be buying another copy to share!

Dr. Tammy Nelson's straight-forward, no b.s. guide to dealing with infidelity is a must-read for anyone looking for solutions and insights to repair and broken relationship. She provides real-world insights and a script for truth-telling when it comes time to own up to your affair.

Having read Tammy Nelson's other books, I expected this one to be really, really good... It's groundbreaking. She examines and deconstructs the ins and outs of cheating from new angles and in radical ways that reduce shame, stigma and misinformation. It's a huge relief to read an up-to-date book that hones in on what's important on ALL sides of the cheating dynamic, and brings in the ambiguities and complexities of modern marriage. People who want to find sanity in sticky, complicated "situations" finally have a book they can turn to for practical guidance. And it's a page-turner - a total blessing in a self-help book.

I think the book was an interesting read, but definitely be wary if you are getting it for a wayward spouse. There are a lot of interesting stories.. but also a lot of justification for cheating. If you cheated and you're wanting to feel better about yourself, this is the book. If you are getting it to read with your spouse for healing after an affair... maybe skip this one. It might just make them think that they should keep on doing it.

It's the equivalent of the confessional for a sinning Catholic. A little time here confessing ones sins makes everything A-OK. Author should have spent her time writing something worthwhile to head off the cheating spouse, not offer absolution for their lousy, backstabbing, deceitful actions.

A groundbreaking book written for everyone wanting to understand a different perspective. Dr. Nelson has brought a somewhat taboo subject to light in a refreshingly non-taboo way, allowing conversations to happen. Thank you!